So, I vented about the comic book fuckboys who are driving me me batshit right now.
And their kissing cousins, the Star Wars fuckboys who I am also done with.
But today, after talking over things with the Geek Husband What Rules, I wanted to talk about the fact that EVERY fandom has those people. Sports, Crafts, Cooking…
Oh, Cooking definitely does. I mean, somewhere between “if you didn’t walk to the farm and pick/slaughter it yourself it’s crap” and “just open a bunch of cans…” is probably where most of us fall. But there are people who will fight you over the sourcing of your herbs.
The one that blew the GHWR’s mind was Knitting. Ravelry has HUGE flame wars. Granted, most of those are not about knitting, bar the occasional skirmish between the natural fiber -v- synthetic fiber folks, and every once in a while you’ll get a small outbreak of Vegans talking about our enslavement of sheep. But most of the fights on Ravelery are either sports or politics-related. Fewer politics-related fights have happened since the Revelry mods straight up announced that support of Trump would be considered the equivalent of hate speech. There are still occasional Anti-Vaxxer dust ups.
Mommy Boards. Oh. My. Gods. When my sister was pregnant, she started visiting a lot of pregnancy and mommy boards. From which I threatened to ground her, after the twentieth panicky text message that she was going to miscarry because…. Obviously, she didn’t. And the GHWR and I took the Nephew to a pumpkin patch and petting zoo on Sunday. We got pumpkins and petted baby goats, and a pony, and fed chickens and ducks.
But at the Mommy Boards, you have the Free-Range parents -v- the Helicopter parents, and vaxxers -v- anti-vaxxers, and people with kids with severe allergies -v- people who don’t think allergies are real…
Yeah, you get the point.
Every group has assholes, and at some point or another, we’ve all been that asshole.
Ok, I know I have been. Some people might say I still am.
The thing is when you get into anything people feel very strongly about, you’re going to get flare ups. I think the main difference is that some of us are fighting to make it more welcoming to people, versus those who are actively gatekeeping.
So, I really do try to be… at least a little empathetic to fuckboys. I mean, trust me, I definitely had (maybe sometimes still do) my moments where I was up half the night typing in a frenzy because “Someone on the internet is WRONG!” Which is why this blog has a three strikes and you’re out policy for picking fights.
1. Your first sally… if you haven’t used hate speech or called me a cunt, I’ll usually assume you’re engaging in good faith. I will explain things clearly with a lack of jargon, and try to keep my sentences short and to the point.
I said try. I know I’m terrible about run on sentences.
2. Your second sally… If you still seem to be honestly puzzled or misunderstanding something that is not a “water is wet” situation, I’ll try simplifying my language further.
3. If by this time you still aren’t getting it, I’m usually done. I am not a patient person, and I figure it’s best to cut my losses before I actually get mad at what I’m going to assume is purposeful obtuseness. My final comment will usually include a lot of fifty cent words with multiple syllables, sprinkled liberally with the word “fuck.”
Contrary to what a lot of my detractors have said, I do actually enjoy a good debate.
You’ll note the qualifier in that sentence. “Good.”
Just stating “Nuh uh,” over and over is not an argument, it’s contradiction.
“I choose to believe…” when discussing facts is another one that will get you tossed. I choose to believe a lot of things. But the existence of climate change and the existence of the fossil record are not opinions.
I am very passionate about a lot of my hobbies and interests as many of you know.
Anyway. I should go. I spent this morning running around a farm with a six year old, choosing pumpkins and petting farm animals. I had forgotten that picking up every pumpkin in the pumpkin field is an integral part of pumpkin choosing. But according to my nephew that is the only true way to do it.
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