So, first off, JR Honeycutt who is a board game designer has been outed as an abuser/predator.

Next is Andrew Medeiros, co-author of the Watch with Anna Kreider, has been accused of emotional abuse.

Actually both of these cases involve emotional abuse, one almost solely, and the other as part and parcel of the physical and sexual abuse.

An awful lot of people are going to immediately start in about how emotional abuse isn’t as bad.

You’re wrong. It’s just as bad, and sometimes worse in that it is much, much harder to get people to take you seriously if you can’t show them bruises and ER reports.

Let me put it to you this way, not all emotional abusers physically abuse people, but all physical abusers emotionally abuse their victims as a way to condition them to accept the physical abuse when it starts.

All of them.

And emotional abuse erodes your self in so many ways.  Not the least of which is the fact that an awful lot of people will tell you it isn’t that bad if they aren’t hitting or raping you, too.

Which is hilarious, because these same assholes will often also tell you that getting hit isn’t that bad if they aren’t also raping you, and rape isn’t that bad if they aren’t also…

Victim Blamers gotta blame, apparently.

Can we all just agree that manipulative assholes suck, regardless?

And can we also agree that we don’t want to knowing deal or work with these jerkoffs?  Because, as I have said repeatedly, people are rarely just an asshole in one single facet of their personalities.  Usually it’s a two or three or five for one special, where they suck in a myriad of ways that most of the people around them keep discounting.

A lot of people will continue to use the “socially awkward” or “don’t know better” excuse for these jerks.  Less so for physical abuse, but it still does happen.  The thing is, they DO know better, or they’d be a creepy fuck at everyone, not just people they find fuckable.  They DO know better or they’d hit their boss for pissing them off like they do their partner or child.    They know full well that they can use those means to control people and get what they want out of them.  If it’s hitting, and then a honeymoon period, or withholding affection and then love-bombing, they know exactly what they are doing.

And the fact that they aren’t doing it to EVERYONE is your proof.

Gaming needs to take a good, long look at people, the abusers and the people who enable them.  The people who told the victims of abusers that they didn’t have the right to call out the abusers or the abuse.  The people who hired those assholes anyway, and gave them the lists of the people who warned them.

Instead of saying, “Well, he’s never done anything like that to ME,” think hard about why that might be.

Are you not their preferred sexual type? Are you someone with power or them they feel they have to suck up to?

You know, like when your friend tells you someone sexually assaulted them, and you tell them that that person never sexually assaulted YOU, or this other person who is nothing like their type, so you aren’t going to believe them.

Look, can we just quit supporting abusive fucked up behavior?

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