Ok, so for those of you who might fetishize my typos, you can visit the original twitter thread here.
For those of you who would like to see me be slightly more coherent than that, I want to talk about the consequences of assholes like Zak S. on the games industry and community re: marginalized voices.
You all have heard me talk about Guns and Glamour for ages. It’s mostly done. It has been for ages, although I do need to add more information about the queer culture of the time. I have been talking about Kickstarting it for years. I have a cadre of guaranteed backers. People talk it up. People have been encouraging me to Kickstart it so they can give me money.
I have not tried Kickstarting it yet, because I am more than a little afraid. See, if it were to fail or succeed on its own merits, I would be completely cool with that.
But given who I am, and that I will not be silent when people are being bullied by assholes, I’m more than a little afraid that people will try to torpedo it.
There are a lot of people who will tell me I’m being paranoid, and most of them are dudes. Most women get why I’m freaked out.
Given that several years ago telling the Penny Arcade guys: “Hey, guys. I agree that the original comic wasn’t a rape joke, but your ‘apology’ was a big bucket of fail,” resulted in 1 1/2 years of rape & death threats. Yeah.
Every time I speak out in support of one of Zak S’s victims, or someone else’s, or I call out someone for being an asshole about racism or sexism, I think, “Well, I hope you’re ready for the shitstorm to start again.”
I really don’t want to return to that, to the unremitting attacks by a bunch of guys angry that I don’t think their heroes are nice guys. Even though I am less worried about physical attacks than a lot of folks, it’s exhausting to deal with, the constant parade of (mostly) dudes who think you deserve to be raped to death for telling someone they did something wrong.
But you know what, I speak out anyway.
Because ethics, mother fuckers.
I have not seen Zak S’s statement yet, if he’s released it, but I have money on him declaring that he’s sorry, he’s sick and needs help, and couldn’t help himself, complete with big fat crocodile tears.
Back to the question of Kickstarter, mostly, I am worried that the fact that I’m a woman, and a woman who won’t shut up and take the abuse, or silently watch others be abused will tank my Kickstarter before it ever gets started, AND restart all the online harassment.
Again. (Thanks GamerGate.)
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