This should have gone live yesterday, but holiday…

The other night, my therapist made me fight my way down to why I want to grow GGR, and why harassment won’t stop me.

Fandom/Geekdom is home.

When I walked into a Dreamcon in the fall of 1989, for the first time in my life I walked into a space where I immediately felt like I’d come home.

i have never had that experience in my own home.  I’m getting there with the current home, but it’ll take a bit for my stupid lizard brain to chill.

But with the convention, it was instantaneous, just staring around at all the people in costumes, and hearing people excitedly talking about books, authors and comics I loved.

This is my home, and I will not let any mutton-headed chucklefuckers run me out of it.

I’ve drifted away from conventions a couple of times in my life, in part because sometimes when you try to give back, you maybe give too much back.  (Here’s a recommendation, guys.  Learn how to say no.  6 concom positions in one year is too much and you will not be able to give any of them the full attention they deserve.) But I’ve always come back.

I love fandom even when it hasn’t, well, parts of it haven’t, loved me.  It gave me a family that understood me like my blood family never could.  And part of that love is telling those you love when they’ve fucked up.  Just like I’ll take a friend aside and say, “Hey, that thing you just did was kind of fucked up, please don’t do that again,” a lot of this blog is me doing that for the fandoms I love and cherish.

I’ve faced accusations of hating comics and RPGs.

No.  I love them, and because I love them I want them to be better.  I want them to thrive and grow.  And part of that is adapting to attract a new and bigger audience.  I’ve used the hairdresser analogy before.  Yeah, it’s a pain in the ass to have to schedule hair appointments two months out*, but I keep sending people to my stylist, because as long as they can make a living at it, they will be there to do my hair.

So, yeah, I’m bracing myself for the harassment.  I’m developing coping strategies.  I’m doing what I can to keep my internet presence divorced from my physical address.

And it probably won’t stop all of the bullshit.  But I’ve also got one hella amazing safety net of housemates and friends, and a bunch of Kick Ass Women, Awesome people of non-binary or no gender and some Rad Guys in my corner.

Thank you for having my back and listening to me rant.  You all rock and I adore you.

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*Seriously, you guys, I have moved vacations to accommodate my stylist. They area that good.