Why am I blogging right now, instead of watching my beloved TNA?
Because TNA is dead to me.
DEAD TO ME!!!!
About a month or so ago, Dixie Carter decided to bring in Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, and Eric Bishoff.
That’s right, TNA has hired in the cast of “The Death of WCW.”
Combined with the hiring/special guest appearances by “Bubba the Love Sponge,” it’s really more than I can handle. Who the hell thinks that douche is funny?
Like I’ve said before, I’m used to this particular interest of mine kicking me in the teeth, but this…? I draw the line at fundamentally stupid decisions that appear to be designed to sink a federation I adored madly, even when it was kicking me while I was down.
What, are Dixie Carter et al tired of running TNA and making a bid to sell it out to WWE as another farm league?* Because I can’t come up with any other reason for hiring Hogan and his buddies, doing away with the six-sided ring, and hiring fucking RUSSO!!!! Russo’s the worst god damn writer in the business. I’ve seen stuffed armadillos who could script better matches and dialog. My cats have a better grasp of plot and interpersonal dynamics.
God DAMN IT!!!!!
Seriously, guys, when Women’s Erotic Wrestling has better matches, male or female, it is time to FIX IT. And not by hiring the people who broke another federation.
Look, as much as I love some of the older guys, and at one time had a monstrous crush on Scott Hall, they can’t wrestle anymore. I love Rick Flair, but every time he takes a bump, I’m waiting for his spine to shoot out of his mouth and kill someone in the audience, and not in a good way.
Ok, I admit, I was dubious when they brought in Kevin Nash, but he’s a truly funny guy. He’s got great mike skills, and the whole mentor/betrayer thing suits him. Nash is great, he’s funny and he recognizes his physical limitations.
But Hogan only ever had five moves in the first place, and with injuries, he’s lost two of those.
Seriously, guys, pull it together, cut the deadweight, bring back the good, hot young wrestlers, the six-sided ring and keep on with the women who can wrestle (Hamana, Kong, ODB, Tara**). Leave the bra and panties bullshit to WWE. I wanna see wrestling. Cut the talking, cut the bullshit, and wrestle. Wrestle. Wrestle. Wrestle.
That’s why I loved you, quit breaking my heart.
*Yeah, I’m still bitter about ECW.
**That said, the Beautiful People are great heels and have gotten to be WAY better wrestlers than when they started out.