So, that whole not being pissed off about anything I mentioned in the last post?
Ok, I didn’t lie. I just hadn’t found my new raison d’être furieux. Yet.
Ok, the article title isn’t that bad, “More Men Marrying Wealthy Women,” apart from that whole thing where it makes guys sound like gold-digging floozies (see sexism isn’t attractive applied to either gender). The actual statistics from the Pew Research Center cited in the article are good, more men are marrying women who make more money and have more education than they do. This runs counter to “common knowledge” about educated women and their likelihood of finding a partner. However, the NY Times’ attempt to disprove these statistics with “anecdata” and prove that educated women are a bunch of loveless harpies, is a touch on the vexing side. In fact the article opens with the following quote:
“Beagy Zielinski is a German-born 28-year-old stylist who moved to New York to study fashion in 1995 and stayed. Just before Christmas, she broke up with her blue-collar boyfriend, who repaired Navy ships.
“He was extremely insecure about my career and how successful I am,” Ms. Zielinski said.”
Really NY Times? In an article reporting on statistics that show men are marrying more educated and successful women, this is how you want to start it?
Or this quote:
“I’m not married, I would like to be married, and my friends are all in a similar situation,” said Dr. Rajalla Prewitt, a 38-year-old psychiatrist in New Jersey. “We’re having difficulty finding someone where there’s a meeting of the minds, where we can have the same goals and values.”
Or back to Ms. Zielinski:
“Ms. Zielinski, the fashion stylist, said her best friend, a man, told her once: “ ‘You are confident, have good credit, own your own business, travel around the world and are self-sufficient. What man is going to want you?’ He laughed, but I found that pretty depressing.”
Maybe it’s because I both have more education and make more money that the Geek Husband What Rules. Trust me, we’re not wealthy by a long shot. If he was trying to marry someone for their money, he did it wrong. But while we personally could care less, it’s been a source of consternation for some of the members of our extended families. Ok, I’m sure my joking about having a “kept man” and saying things like, “Bitch better get in the kitchen and cook my dinner,” in front of them doesn’t help. I can’t help it. I get cantankerous in the face of egregious sexism, it brings the evil out. I’m sure swatting him on the ass and calling him “Cupcake” doesn’t help either.
But really, in an article ostensibly about how gender stereotypes about who should make more money and be more educated are breaking down, you dedicate that much space to proving how wrong those stastics actually are, because here are all these educated, lonely, sad, “successful” women* with empty beds and freezers full of Haagen Daas?
Screw you, NY Times. You call yourselves journalists.
There are plenty of guys out there who really don’t give a damn who makes more money, who has more schooling, who brings home the bacon. Really. I do, in fact, know several couples where Dad left his job when the kids were born because he made less than his wife, and it was far less of a sacrifice for him to stay home. And there’s nothing revolutionary about it, it’s all very practical. The one what makes the most money and has the best benefits keeps doing that. It’s basic math.
Look, women, ladies, girls, sure there are going to be some neanderthals out there (some of them with PhDs even) who are going to freak out if you’re smarter or make more money. But there are also a whole lot of men who just don’t care, and even dig on smart, successful women. As it should be. Trust me, you don’t want to date anyone who’s going to get all butthurt if you beat him at Star Wars trivia or get a better promotion anyway. Do what I do, use your intelligence as asshole repellent. Believe me, jerks being afraid of smart girls? It’s a feature, not a bug.
Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon has a couple of magnificently scathing articles on the subject.
And just a final word from a geek boy who digs on the brainy girls, Nerd Porn Auteur by Ernest Cline. You’ll have to follow the link and click on Nerd Porn Auteur in the list. Oh, yeah, check out Air Wolf as well.
*I mean, how successful can they be without a man, right NY Times? Bite me.
4 thoughts on “Geek Girls Rule! #116 – Smart Girls are Undateable, yeah right.”
Have I ever mentioned my worst date story? It involved a guy telling me that I didn’t need to go off for my Ph.D, because I wouldn’t need it raising his children. Yeah, I left before we ordered and gave him a few bucks to cover my Coke.
I couldn’t agree more, seeing as how I married someone smarter than I am. Even better, most women don’t have a problem with their husbands or boyfriends staying at home, so long as they’re actually doing anything. The complaints I hear, over and over, are about the men-children who can’t get a job and can’t clean house because they’re too busy working toward something “creative”. Creative what, we don’t know, but Arioch forbid they should do anything constructive.
(I wonder if a lot of this gibberish was added by an editor after the writer turned it in: I’m all too familiar with the situation of seeing a freshly published article and recognizing individual words in the mess that completely refutes my original point. Problem is, while I’ve known a lot of reporters who can argue, persuasively, that there’s nothing wrong with a spouse making more money, I’ve known far too many xenophobic editors who wear their sexism on their sleeves. Then, after repeated dates that consist of their spouting reactionary boilerplate and bragging about their booze and porn consumption, the fact that they couldn’t get laid in Tijuana with a jockstrap full of $100 bills “is all women’s fault”.)
Smart Girls are Undateable, yeah right.
Well, if you’re a tool, they are. Why should a woman lower her standards?
Ok, I’m sure my joking about having a “kept man” and saying things like, “Bitch better get in the kitchen and cook my dinner,” in front of them doesn’t help.
Nevermind that he’s a *really* good cook and, even better, enjoys it.
Woman what dates Cynickal is better educated than me and will soon be making more than me when she finishes her training. I’m working on catching up with her because it would improve our ability to enjoy things together that are, at the moment, treats. And really, there’s nothing sexier than a woman who explains the chemical compounds of high explosives.
Ugh, that’s pretty disgusting. Intelligence is a virtue that everyone should have, regardless of their biological sex, and if someone is smarter than me, well, then, they’re smarter than me, it’s just that simple.
On a personal level, I think intelligence is sexy, and not just book smart either. If someone can geek out and recall from memory everything they love about a series I like and show examples, that’s awesome!
Also, my mom’s smart. She has TWO business degrees, a degree in home care, and she got me through math, which was my WORST subject, which I’m supposed to be good at because I’m male, according to some moron social evolutionary idiots somewhere. I don’t think I would be where I am today without mom encouraging me on booksmarts and studying.