For the Geek Husband What Rules and I life is one big improvisational theater.

I do try to rein this in at work where I have to pretend to be a reasonably functional adult.  But when it’s just he and I or even if I’m by myself, especially in the car, the gloves are off.

Actually I know other people do this, because we have friends we’ve taken road trips with, and it’s been all improv all the time in the car. Including the trip where the GHWR and a friend were doing this set of really aggravating voices for characters they’d come up with, and I pulled over and threatened to leave them by the side of road on HWY 97 in Eastern Washington.

Ok, they were funny, for the first half hour.  After that I really needed them to change to characters with inside voices.

But we do this.  Crows have this weird propensity to refuse to fly away from cars, instead hopping or doing this weird skipping run they do, if they’re in the street and you’re rolling up on them.  I always slow down because the last time I thought I’d hit an animal I had to pull over and sob broken-heartedly for about fifteen minutes,

But the GHWR and I always provide dialog for these crows.

“Hey, I’m eatin’ here! This filth is not going to eat itself, assholes!”  Or my favorite when we passed a group of about five crows just hanging out in the middle of the street, the GHWR said, “What are you guys doing?”

To which I responded in my “Crow” voice, which is a little more high pitched than my normal voice, ‘Murder.”

I then proceeded to cackle wildly all the way home.

Because I am a funny fucking bitch.

We do this for dogs, too.  Just, when you see a super happy dog going for a run, we’re all, “HUMAN! HUMAN, HURRY!  THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO SNIFF!!!!!!  COME ON!!!”

We do also make up stories about other people, but they are frequently less amusing.  So I’m gonna skip those.

We also do this with the cats.  Usually one of us voices one of the cats, and the other one has a conversation with said cat.

Yes, we do crack each other up doing this.  A lot.  And the cats have very distinct speech patterns.

First, every cat refers to itself as The Cat, and other cats are “those guys.”

We do occasionally make them use Cheezburger speak, but then immediately correct with, “REAL CATS DON’T TALK LIKE THAT!”

Solipsism, thy name is cat.  So, there’s your starting point.

It’s a thing we’ve always done, to the point that The_Grrsl had her own Livejournal back in the day.  I swear that stupid cat had more followers than I did.

Most of our conversation involves one of us making fun of said cat and the cat getting offended.  A big dis in cat world is getting the monkeys’ names wrong.

There is, in fact, a syntax and an unofficial style guide.  Each cat has their own speech patterns.  The Moose speaks more slowly and with a little bit of a sad note to his voice. Ayla is super conceited and sarcastic.  And the Enemy of Sleep is really exasperated a lot.

Yup, we’re weirdos.  But we’re entertained and that’s the important part.

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