Geek Girls Rule! #574 – Gatekeeping, Internalized Misogyny, and You

I am about to make someone super unhappy.  Because in addition to my, I’m sure, original unsatisfactory to them response, I am about to dissect their comment here to really get into the meat of several assumptions they make and why they’re wrong.

Ok, first, the comment in question:

My problem is that what I consider fake geek girls is girls who constantly use gaming platforms to sexually sell themselves. You see it in World of Warcraft where a girl will add several people to their Battle Net account and “send nudes” or Skype chat and give them guys soft core porn in exchange fpr gold instead of earning gold the good old fashion way. Not only have I seen this but I’ve heard about it from my boyfriemd who said he dated a girl who would do that… Basically using game platforms for sexual exploitation… Crap like that makes females look bad… Aggravating

Ok, now where to start.  First, “wokeandawakened”, you have a little work to do before you earn that name.

Next,  you assume that these girls doing this are really girls.

That is not an assumption you can make online.  With voice emulators readily available to anyone willing to put in an iota of work, for all you know these “fake geek girls” are more “fake girls” than “fake geeks.”  They could easily be 45 year old men at home in their underwear, or ex-boyfriends looking to get revenge on their former partner and make some sort of profit while doing it.

Your first assumptions that it is primarily women doing this is not a sure thing.

Second, you assume they are “fake geeks” because they’re selling nudes in exchange for Warcraft gold.

Ok, first, they have a computer on which they can log in to Warcraft, they have Warcraft, and they are trading their nudes for in-game dross.


Yeah, ok, they “aren’t geeks,” whatever…  And yes, I know, there are people out there who pay real world money for in-game gold, but you don’t seem to be upset about this possibility.  You seem to be upset that they are doing it for the gold “instead of earning gold the good old fashion way.” Your boyfriend says he dated someone who used to do this.  He doesn’t mention her selling the gold for irl cash, or you don’t, and I think if that were what she was doing you would have mentioned it, given how upset you are about everything else.

So what you’re upset about is that these “girls” (because we don’t know that they are except for that one your boyfriend dated) are using their bodies to get ahead in a game with no winner.


So, they’re sending nudes to skip the grinding the majority of people complain about, and get to the fun stuff.  Is this part of it? They’re doing a thing you think makes them “fake geeks” to skip the boring shit everyone complains about and do the fun geeky stuff?

Next, sexual exploitation.  OK, if the scenarios I posit above are in fact going on, those are sexually exploitive.

A woman taking her own nudes and using them as she likes is not exploitive.

And stop calling women and girls “females.” You are not a ferengi.  We have collective nouns for human females, they are women and girls.  The use of “female” as a noun is dehumanizing, which is why it is used in scientific literature (to give an air of objectivity) and the military (don’t get me started).

Ok, now onto the things that should be concerning to you, but aren’t.

1. There is no way for the average WoW or other MMO player to verify that the person offering them the nudes is in fact the person depicted in those nudes.

2. Because of point 1. there is no way to ascertain that everyone involved on either side of equation is legally able to consent.

Many dudes “buying” these nudes may well be in possession of child porn and not know it.  And that will not protect them if the cops come knocking.

If the girl/woman depicted in the photos is under 18 years of age, it is child porn.  This holds whether the girl took the photo of herself or not.  Google Traci Lords for ways in which this can fuck over a whole lot of people.  Or, you know, on a smaller scale, like when some asshole I used to work with in a nightclub got his older looking 16 year old girlfriend into the club because we trusted him (and she had a really good fake ID that she used an older sister’s birth certificate to get)*, and she was there on fetish nights, and people took pictures both of her, and with her in the background.

Any image she was in of a sexual nature was considered child porn legally, whether or not she was the one doing the sexual things. Soooo…  A whole lot of people had to delete a whole lot of pictures because everyone assumed because she was in the club that she was 21.

So, yeah, fuck that guy.

Not to mention that child porn is probably the easiest sex crime to prosecute because the basis of it is: “Do you have sexually explicit images of children in your possession? Yes? Guilty.”

Now, if the girl in question is under 18, then yes, this is exploitive even if she is doing it.  She is not legally able to consent and, according to psychiatric literature on the topic, her brain has not yet developed to the point where she really grasps the consequences of her actions and how they may haunt her.  It’s part of the reason age of consent exists, but that is a whole other discussion.


It also sounds a little bit in there that you may feel like these girls and their nudes are a threat to your relationship.  If you do, your boyfriend broke up with a girl who did that and is now with you.  Relax.

Or I may be projecting.  But I do want to address this.

The only people responsible for any relationship are the people in it.  For most people in this society this brings the grand total of persons responsible for the well-being of any given relationship up to two.


Girls selling nudes for WoW gold are not responsible for anyone else’s relationship, or any problems in said relationship that possession of those nudes may cause.

You know who is responsible?

The people who bought them.

That’s it.

It’s like with cheating.

The person responsible is the person in the relationship being cheated upon (regardless of # of relationship participants).  The person they cheat with is not responsible.  The person(s) they are cheating on are not responsible.  The person who does the cheating is solely responsible for that bullshit.

Would it be nice if there were a reliable way that people’s relationship statuses could be broadcast to potential pick ups/hooks ups?

Yes.  But cheaters are not reliable.  An awful lot of people dating or sleeping with someone who is already in a relationship where that is not ok, don’t actually know it until it blows up in their face.  They may think the person is single.  Or they may think the person has an open relationship, or permission because of things the cheater has said.

Yeah, that’s a bit of a tangent.  But it is related, and it bears repeating, ad nauseam.  Because people don’t fucking get it.  And to an extent I understand why.  It’s easier to be angry with some unknown floozy, than it is to believe that someone you love would betray you like that.

But knock it off, and lay the responsibility on the shoulders of the person to whom it belongs.

Ok, back to wokeandawakend.


Those girls (all caveats above apply) and women are not hurting you.  The way they engage with the game and other gamers only impacts your enjoyment of the game because you’re letting it.  If you don’t like it, don’t do it.  And make it clear with your partners (current and future) that buying or possessing those nudes is not something you’re comfortable with.

But ultimately, those women aren’t “cheapening the game.”

I can see being annoyed if the behavior of those women means that clueless dudes start bugging you for nudes.  BUT AGAIN, this is not the fault of those women.  It is the fault of presumptuous, entitled dudes.  Be angry at them.

But those women are not actually hurting you in any way.  They are not making WOMEN look bad.

You play the game the way you want.  They get to play the game the way they want.

That’s it.

Quit renting them space in your head.

If you like what you read here, or want to help fund the stupidly expensive migraine meds that may be my only hope, please consider donating using the link at the top right of the page:  Keep Us Geeking, or checking out my Patreon.  Thank you!

Also, if you’d like to see what sort of fiction I write when left to my own devices, please feel free to check out my fiction Patreon, Nothing Nice Comes Out of My Head.

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