Geek Girls Rule! #506 – Arisia, I am Disappoint

Sooo, the Arisia Committee has some ‘splainin’ to do, as I and a bunch of other folks wait for their response to the accusation by a former chair that they value the services of a rapist over the safety and services of his victim.

I believe the victim.

I stand with the victim.

And I am incredibly disappointed that a convention that has been praised to me as feminist has dropped the ball on this.

Look, I get it.  As a culture we are conditioned to disbelieve accusations of rape, particularly when the person committing the rape is someone we have gotten along with, often because we have something they want, like, say cache in a community.

That said, as recent events have demonstrated, women have far more to lose by accusing a man of rape than that man has to lose on the very rare occasions that he might be charged and/or found guilty.

“I would know if X was a rapist.”

No, you wouldn’t.  Not if he decided he didn’t want you to.  The myth that rapists are awkward, socially inept guys is just that, a myth.  Most sexual predators are incredibly facile with people, and manipulative as fuck.

Not using a condom when your partner has not consented to not using a condom, is sexual assault.

Continuing to have sex after your partner tells you they don’t want this, is sexual assault.

I don’t care if it started out consensual.  The minute your partner says, “No” or “Stop” or “I don’t want this” or “You’re hurting me” you fucking stop.

Removing a condom without a partner’s knowledge or consent is also sexual assault.  Because if they knew you didn’t have it on, they wouldn’t let you fuck them.  So, yes, “Stealthing,” is sexual assault.

Seriously, nerds, we’re supposed to be fucking smarter than this.

It breaks my heart that yet another woman is being pushed out of the community because it’s too burdensome to believe her, to protect her.

I’m so fucking over this.

I believe her.

I stand with her.

And Arisia, you had better come through with one fucking amazing response to this.


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