Geek Girls Rule! #118 – Just a Reminder, GGR is not a democracy.

Now that we’re picking up more hits from Facebook and Twitter and by virtue of the fact that we have more bloggers (Bolshoe Spacibo to Danielle, Jen and Tammy), I thought I should maybe reiterate some of the moderation policy here and why I am such a draconian bitch.

Honestly, I’m actually pretty easy going, because being draconian on this blog would take far more energy than I’m willing and able to expend. 

Geek Girls Rule! is by, for and about Geek Girls and how being Geek Girls affects our lives, what we like, what we do, and it addresses (at least I hope it does) that we are not a monolith.  It is a place where Geek Girls can come to read and discuss issues we have with our chosen nerdities, and guys are welcome to read and discuss as well.  That said, it is not a place where guys should feel free to tell us how we’re “doin it rong.”  I have nothing against people who disagree with me or my other bloggers.  I do have something against “Mansplaining,” telling women that they’re wrong when they feel something is sexist, or just in general being a doucheclam for doucheclam’s sake because you think it’s cute that girls have figured out how to use computers with our tiny ladybrains. 

First, I would like to explain that there is a difference between something BEING sexist, and the intent of it’s creator or the person who said it MEANING to be sexist.  Just because someone didn’t mean to sound like a sexist dick, doesn’t mean that what they said isn’t sexist.  Being married, dating a woman and having daughter(s) does not mean you can’t be sexist.  Great Flying Spaghetti Monster, some of the biggest sexist dickheads I’ve ever met are the fathers of girls.  Neither is being a woman (born or trans) proof against sexism and misogyny.  Trust me.  

The same goes for Racism.  I know no one is 100 percent free of racist misconceptions, thoughts and ideologies, because our culture is saturated with them.  But just try not to be egregiously racist, ok?  Because that shit doesn’t fly here, either.  I try to be mindful myself, and I know I don’t always succeed, so I have no objection to being called out.  Just try not to lose your shit if someone tells you, “Geez, that was sort of racist…”  They’re not calling YOU racist, they are calling what you SAID racist.  For an explanation of the distinction please see Jay Smooth’s video “How to tell people they sound racist” on YouTube. 

Next, Mansplaining.  Alas, in the comments to Jen’s first post, we had an unfortunate case of Mansplaining.  Hopefully that hasn’t scared her off from posting entirely, but if nothing else it annoyed the crap right out of me.  Rebecca Solnit established the concept of Mansplaining in her article, “Men Who Explain Things,” wherein she describes a dinner party where a male guest upon hearing that she’d written a book on Eadweard Muybridge, proceeds to tell her all about how she should read this Very Important book on Muybridge, which just happened to be her book. 

Karen Healey of “Girls Read Comics and They Are Pissed!” fame, has been credited in several circles with coining the term “Mansplaining” for the phenomena of men who can’t seem to keep from, usually erroneously, “correcting” female colleagues, friends, complete strangers…  This is not to say that all men are Mansplainers.  Many, probably most, are not.  The Geek Husband What Rules read the definition of Mansplaining and nearly laughed himself sick, “I’ve totally heard those dudes.  Shit, I hope I’m not one of them.”  Not usually, sweetheart. 

And this isn’t to say that women can’t be guilty of Mansplaining, either.  Hell, I know I’ve done it.  But I think Ms. Healey and others are correct in their assessment that a gender neutral term isn’t going to do this phenomena justice.  You can go here to read why. 

I will tell you, that if you read any of those links, or this blog entry, and your immediate response is to be suddenly and intensely enraged as if you personally were being insulted, then yes, you proabably were:  Dude, you’re a Mansplainer.  Self-Actualize.  Seriously, before you hit “Post” on that scathing reply you have all planned out to enlighten me on why I’m wrong, just stop for a second and think about it.  Non-Mansplainers don’t have that reaction.

Which brings me to this last point:  This blog is not a democracy.  You do not have freedom of speech in the comment section of this blog.  Now, I don’t delete the comments of people who disagree with me, as long as they are respectful and don’t pepper their comments with things like “bitches don’t get it” and “you cunts just need to know your place.”  I do, however, delete comments from people who presume to tell me (usually men) how I should be writing, gaming, living, breathing and/or fucking.  Calling me a fat, hairy dyke is an automatic trip to Ban-sville, after some awesome mockery.  They don’t call me the Wicked Bitch of the West for nothing, pal.

And if you’re desperately and direly offended by the very idea of girls getting cooties on your Man-hobbies, just go away.  Click to another site, there’s MILLIONS of them out there, many of them written by guys who dig your hobby and don’t like girls touching it, either.  Go bug them.  I don’t go to Red State blogs or the blogs of the He-Male Woman Haters to troll, do me the same courtesy. 

All that said, I really do want this place to be open and welcoming to everyone regardless of gender, race, creed, religion, shoe size, musical preference…  Except for people who hate cats, you can just fuck right off…  Kidding.  Sort of.  Please just bear in mind that I am the dictator for life of GGR, a benevolent dictator, but a dictator nonetheless.  And if you don’t like it, there’s a whole, great big internet out there just waiting for you.  I promise.

7 thoughts on “Geek Girls Rule! #118 – Just a Reminder, GGR is not a democracy.

  1. Well said. Esp the part ‘think about it, non-Mansplainers don’t have that reaction.’ I can think of several guys I know who would’ve had long scathing replies ready by that point explaining why you’re wrong.

  2. *claps* Awesome speech. I’ve been a long time reader and listener of your podcast, since the episode about breasts and your interactions with players and gamers who seem all riled up over you being a woman.

    I hate mansplaining, and I hope I don’t ever fall into that trap. It reminds me of posts I’d read by a certain blogger linked to at When Fangirls Attack who would downplay women’s reactions to idoiotic stuff done in Marvel or DC. Complete Mansplainer who couldn’t get over himself.

    I’ve also been in deep disagreement with a friend over a podcast of his where he and two other guys said how Bayonetta’s design is so totally NOT SEXIST and hyper-sexualized and how we should all buy it right now.

    Nothing but a two hour long session of mansplaining.

    So keep up the awesome work! Also, when would your next podcast be coming out?

  3. JamieJ, THANK YOU!!! Please, feed the ego!! I love it!!!

    Um, I have two interviews with female game designers recorded since this summer, but with sick and dying pets and the move and everything, I just haven’t been on top of my game.

    I do, however, have tomorrow off and plan on doing some editing when I get sick of knitting the millionth gift for someone else. So, hopefully I’ll be able to post at least one tomorrow afternoon.

    *fingers crossed*

  4. Apparently, their analysis is that Bayonetta owns her sexuality, which is why she’s not shaped like any normal human woman and wears high heel guns that would snap the ankles off of anyone… plus, they’re men.

    Download episode 0 to listen to them explain exactly why Bayonetta is not hyper sexualized, and how women agree and it’s men who are overreacting… if you want. The dude is my friend, and I’m trying not to promote this particular episode, but dude says I overreact to the idiocy of the sexualizing of women in comics… and he trotted out Dante of DMC3 as the counter to Bayonetta.

    And good luck, GGR. I tried to download episode 3 of the podcast again, but it wouldn’t work.

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