THEY FUCKED UP ZARTAN!!!!!
ETA: I have been informed that Zartan does not look like the orange-haired green nightmare below. Unfortunately, I can’t find ANY other pictures of him from the film.
From the moment I heard about this project all I could think was, “It’s gonna have Zartan, and he’s gonna be played by Arnold Vosloo! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”
Then I went and saw the publicity shots.
Seriously. So, for a character that has looked like this for the majority of his presence in the comics and cartoons:
Or quite possibly this:
Zartan does not look like this:
I realize I’m getting dangerously close to nerd raging over a relatively minor character in an obscenely long-running franchise here. But, gah! Seriously, they looked at the traditional look for Zartan, hood, black diamonds around eyes, and thought, “You know, I bet he would be REALLY cool if we made him green with orange hair and gave him an outfit that rivals David Bowie in his Ziggy Stardust days. That’ll be hot.”
Ugh. So, yeah, no GI Joe for me. Sigh. Oh well… I can always watch the old 80s cartoon or read the comics, I guess. Plus there’s tons of fanfic and fanart out there if I get truly desperate. It’s just so disappointing. Zartan=awesome. Arnold Vosloo=awesome. This Zartan concept for the film? So far from awesome it couldn’t see it with the Hubble Space telescope.
Yes, yes, nerd rage, blah blah blah… It’s been a slow week for geek news.
In completely unrelated news: The kitten (Jimmie Superfly Snookums) loves pistachios. She’s insane for them. I told you this kitten was defective.
ETA2: Ok, so I did finally track down A still from the film. He’s just boring, not horrific. Actual movie Zartan:
Sigh. A perfectly good nerd rage, wasted on nothing. Think I’ll go post another angry rant about Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes.