Start looking for the goat-headed boy, because the apocalypse, she’s a coming!
The article is “Top 5 most preposterous getups in games” and I agree with them. A lot. The commentary under the screen caps is freaking hilarious, too. Under the screenshot of La Mariposa from Dead or Alive 4: “…because nothing says “I’m a competent combatant and a smart scientist” like a butterfly mask, tassels and matching G-string. ”
Bwaa haa haa haa haaaaa!!! I seriously want to meet the person who wrote this article. I have a giant crush on their brain for that line alone.
But really, the butt-flossing, barely there costumes on female characters in games have been making female gamers roll their eyes until they risk a sprain for years. And for years we’ve just been grinning and bearing it. But seriously, guys, you’ve been striving for new levels of stupid lately.
Here’s the thing, if you want jiggle, there are games dedicated to jiggle. I think Stax used to play this Beach Volleyball game on one of her consoles, that had all the jiggle you could hope for and more. It was festival of water-balloon-like motion barely constrained by pixelated bikinis. And those games have their place and audience. Stax loves her the jiggly bits in her games.
However, when I’m trying to play a fighting game, I want characters in realistic outfits that look like they might do some good, reasonable footwear, and no one flips their hair in battle.
I love the SoulCalibur franchise. I think the games are absolutely beautiful. I like the gameplay. I consistently beat the pants off of Mr. Geek Girl What Rules at it. It’s a lovely game. But what the hell is up with Ivy’s amazing disappearing outfits? I swear, her already improbably skimpy outfit has gotten teenier in this latest incarnation of SoulCalibur. I’m hoping that they still have the alternate costume of SoulCalibur III, where she wore breeches and a waistcoat, and looked sexy as hell in them. But the picture of her in the article I linked to above just made me roll my eyes and introduce my head to my desk. What, butt-floss wasn’t bad enough? Now we have to introduce boob-floss?
However, in the same game we have Hildegard von Krone, who is competely and believably armored. WTF, guys? Is there some sort of conservation of pixelated armor theorem at work here? “Well, see if we have this woman in believable armor, that uses up all of the armor pixel allotment we’re allowed for female characters, so we have to take those pixels from somewhere.”
Ok, Ivy’s old “armor” was bad enough. Not to mention Xianghua’s mega-mini outfit and Sophitia’s miniskirt. Taki was relatively reasonably dressed. Granted, some of the male characters are also dressed pretty stupidly. But Voldo’s actually been getting MORE clothed in successive games. What gives here?
That said, though, I’ll still play it. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE SoulCalibur. I’m less than enthused about the inclusion of Star Wars characters in it. Keep Lucas’ money-grubbing, childhood raping hands off my favorite videogame, damn it! But I’ll still play it. Now I just need to break down and get a 360.