So, Saturday I ran the game where all the characters were the children of adults who had been killed in a medieval fortress. Up until I started running it I hadn’t decided what had killed them, but I had ideas. So, after my grilling plans were torpedoed by the stupid weather, we moved everything inside. Chronivore and Lesleymac played the children of the local hedgewitch, who was a “widow,” being as she was single and had children. Lesley played the 16 year old elder daughter, Alice, and Chronivore played her 12 year old brother, Martin. Chronivore’s son played the 15 year old Blacksmith’s son, Draan Stag. Marcy played Suza, the large daughter of the local Butcher. And GeekAlpha played the 12 year old, scaredy cat son of the head liveryman, Milo.
I have not laughed so hard in a game filled with death, blood and dismembered body parts in a long time. They came out of a hidey-hole, after being wedged in there for two days, and found no bodies, except for a stray head, blood everywhere, and all the meat gone. Shortly thereafter the bickering started, and never stopped.
They found the commander of the garrison, barricaded in his offices, barely alive, one arm missing. He ordered them to kill him, and then told them the fortress had been attacked by werewolves, and that they would have to burn his body to be sure. They killed him, per his orders, and then closed the gates. They then tried to poison the werewolves by lacing the head they’d found with wolfsbane, and tossing it over the wall. Then they tried setting fire to the forest. There were multiple squabbles about who was going to do what, when. Alice kept beating the crap out of Draan.
The werewolves pulled Alice and Martin’s mom out as a hostage, they were keeping her human and alive to deal with their injuries. The kids decided they couldn’t risk trying to rescue her and sat tight. When a caravan approached, they rang the warning bell, which, coupled with the smoke from the smoldering forest, only made them hurry and get destroyed by werewolves right outside the gate. So, they found blankets, and Alice, who could write, wrote “Werewolves Flee!” on them. The werewolves snickered at this, but I was not mean enough to have them utilize them as a means to get into the fortress.
Finally the army showed up to rescue them, and they refused to open the gate until after they’d killed all the werewolves across the road. About half the army died, but they won. Then went into the forest after survivors of the Keep. I let each of them find a parent. Draan’s dad had to be put down, as he’d been bitten. But Draan’s older brother survived, and Alice married him, mostly to make Draan miserable.
I really cannot begin to capture the hilarity of the dialogue this game engendered. Oh my Lord. Several times we had to stop so I could quit laughing long enough to set up the next scene, and let them go at it again. Alice taking Draan’s sword away from him and smacking him in the face with the flat is really one of my favorite moments. That and the following exchange.
GeekAlpha: “So, I know this castle really well. Is there some way we could escape if the werewolves get in?”
Me: “Well, there’s the shoot used to jettison the manure from the stables.”
GA: “How big is it?”
Me: “It’s big enough for most of you. Suza might have some trouble with it.”
GA: “Is there any lard left?”
Marcy (as Suza): “I know I am large.”
There were more lines like that through the night. Chronivore’s “unwitting” commentary on his mother’s secondary profession: (to Draan): “I don’t know what you’re so proud of. My mom says your dad isn’t very good with his tool.”
It was a total blast. I can’t wait to run that scenario again with a different group to see how it turns out. I was kind of hoping for darker or grittier, but then the 13 year old showed up and I just didn’t want to push those buttons with him there.
The game was fantastic, and I can’t thank my players enough.