I totally dig on Nerds. And a lot of my Geek Girl friends do, too. We want someone we can play RPGs with, and talk about videogames, and discuss SF/F novels. Someone who won’t laugh when we squeal that our life will never be complete without a Tardis USB Hub, or that we’re knitting a life-sized Dalek, just for shits and giggles (actually, I intend to sulk in it). Someone who understands when we bemoan the Editor-in-Chief-ship of Joe Quesada at Marvel and who doesn’t just roll their eyes as we stand at the counter at the comic shop trying to figure out how many we can afford to take home now, and how many we’ll have to pick up next week after we get paid, because we couldn’t POSSIBLY wait until next week to get all of them, because of this storyline, or this one, or this one… We want to date men who understand when we get our favorite comic book hero tattooed on our bodies, or spend ludicrous amounts of money on costumes for conventions.
Seriously, I think most Geeks of any gender would much rather partner up with someone who shares their interests and hobbies. Most people do. How often do you find someone who says, “Gee, I think I’d like to marry someone with as little in common with me as possible. After all, uncomfortable silence and resentment of the other person’s interests are SOOOO sexy.”
In short, Geek girls are not looking for a hot jerk with a fast car. We’re looking for other Dorks.
I realize that’s a bit of a difficult concept for a lot of folks to deal with, so I’ll repeat it: We’re not looking for a hot jerk with a fast car. We’re looking for other Dorks.
What we want is someone who can keep up with us intellectually, who isn’t going to be threatened when we beat their ass at Advanced Squad Leader or can name more X-men than they can. We want someone who respects us, likes us, understands us and is honest with us about all of the above.
If he’s hot, too? Great. And actually, if he is all of the above, he is hot, regardless of the current vogue in men’s looks. Because hot isn’t just about visually pretty, it’s also about how well your brains mesh. Let’s face it, pretty and vapid rapidly lose their entertainment value if that’s all there is.
Case in point, ever since Pitch Black, I’ve thought Vin Diesel was hot. Then I found out he’s a gamer. A real, pen and paper and dice gamer. EEEEEEEEEE!!!!! There is no earthly way this man could possibly get any hotter to me, not even if he shows up in my bed naked and covered in honey. What’s even hotter is how open he is about his geekiness, how secure.
But you don’t have to be Vin Diesel to attract me or most other Geek Girls. Really. What you have to be is willing to talk to us like human beings, engage us on multiple levels and let us know that you do find us attractive, in a polite and non-creepy way. In my world, “Hey, do you like Ultimate X-men?” is a perfectly acceptable pick up line.